Saturday, September 27, 2008
9.01.08
My best friend here is a 5 year old named Aristedes. He thinks that when we die and go to heaven, we´ll eat fruit all the time. I like that philosophy. Plus he hiked with me all the way to Nidori because he didn´t want me walking alone.
¨8.28.08
A woman in my site died from AIDs yesterday. Her funeral was today. And so for two days everyone has been quiet, still, in mourning. Since probably half the town is related to her, everyone is impacted. Her husband died a year ago in a car accident and she was left to raise her 3 children. She was 23. Now the children are orphans, left to be raised by their grandmother. You hear of AIDs, you hear of SIDs, but I never thought I would see the ramifications, especially in Panama.
8.10.08
¨Here I am, between my flock and my treasure, the boy thought. He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have.¨* The Alchemist.
Between the normal things we are used to and our desire for something else that will bring change.
My life before Peace Corps signified in one sentance, choosing between the comfortable and the extraordinary life. We choose the comfortable thinking it´s easier because that´s all we know and shy asay from the extraordinary because it´s different, unknown and therefore we believe harder. Each way of life is hard, but our mind tricks us into believing a complacent life is far easier than one necesiting change.
¨When each day is the same as the next, it´s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises¨.
Between the normal things we are used to and our desire for something else that will bring change.
My life before Peace Corps signified in one sentance, choosing between the comfortable and the extraordinary life. We choose the comfortable thinking it´s easier because that´s all we know and shy asay from the extraordinary because it´s different, unknown and therefore we believe harder. Each way of life is hard, but our mind tricks us into believing a complacent life is far easier than one necesiting change.
¨When each day is the same as the next, it´s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day the sun rises¨.
Food for thought 7.21.08
Tortugua.
The words bounced from house to house until finally reaching my hut. Once the word is whispered and passed my family says ¨bru, vamos Chamie a la playa¨ and dutifully I follow. It´s one of those instances where I feel like I should really be excited for someone- like when your best friend told you that she is marrying a moron- and you just fail to feel that same excitement. And so, caught up somewhere between excitement and sadness, you feel nothing. I´m excited that for a week my family will have food to eat, and that I won´t hear them complain about buchu simple. But on the other hand I know this is the 3rd turtle in 3 weeks and the species is slowly dying away. And so, I do what I normally do in akward situations- I joke. It´s either that or be angry at them for following ancient traditions handed down by their forefathers. In the end it boils down to food being food and for one night not hearing a cry of a child´s hunger.
On a more serious note, the teacher gave me the key to the latrine. Now I don´t have to worry aboiut it being open or not. One problem solved and relief definately follows. Now if I could only solve the turtle issue....
The words bounced from house to house until finally reaching my hut. Once the word is whispered and passed my family says ¨bru, vamos Chamie a la playa¨ and dutifully I follow. It´s one of those instances where I feel like I should really be excited for someone- like when your best friend told you that she is marrying a moron- and you just fail to feel that same excitement. And so, caught up somewhere between excitement and sadness, you feel nothing. I´m excited that for a week my family will have food to eat, and that I won´t hear them complain about buchu simple. But on the other hand I know this is the 3rd turtle in 3 weeks and the species is slowly dying away. And so, I do what I normally do in akward situations- I joke. It´s either that or be angry at them for following ancient traditions handed down by their forefathers. In the end it boils down to food being food and for one night not hearing a cry of a child´s hunger.
On a more serious note, the teacher gave me the key to the latrine. Now I don´t have to worry aboiut it being open or not. One problem solved and relief definately follows. Now if I could only solve the turtle issue....
She 7.11.08
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of Cloudless climes and starry skies,
and all that´s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
*Byron
But strength alone, though of the Muses born,
Is like a fallen angel, trees uptorn,
Darkness, and worm, and shrouds, and sepulchers
Delight it, for it feeds upon the burrs
And thorns of life, forgetting the great end
Of poesy, that it should be a friend
To soothe the cares, and lift the thoughts
Of man.
* Keats
Finally a short time of contemplative silence before it is broken yet again by the quick rapid fire words of an angry Nogbe mama or by the cries of a baby....or the continual questions of what I am or will be doing. I used to take solitude time so much for granted. IF I wanted to get away, all I had to do was head to the closest coffee shop where I could get absorbed for hours in a book or even more so with my thoughts. I find that if I do get up by at least 6 when the air is still cool and slip into my running clothe, I can walk sliently by the sea as much mesmerized by the sand as the stunning view. Those hours I cherish. I am not followed by children who demand money or an English lesson. The bright sun doesn´t bother me yet, but the chitre like always do. And there wandering lost on the beach, I begin to find my self again. Find myself against daily frustrations of language and culture. Finding myself when most things I find that hve defined me are lost in translation across an ocean and most known civilization. The time I have isn´t always amazing, but it is mine alone to wonder and cherish. If you took all your bearings away from you, your house, your car, your clothes, your job, your language, your sports, well what would define you?
Of Cloudless climes and starry skies,
and all that´s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
*Byron
But strength alone, though of the Muses born,
Is like a fallen angel, trees uptorn,
Darkness, and worm, and shrouds, and sepulchers
Delight it, for it feeds upon the burrs
And thorns of life, forgetting the great end
Of poesy, that it should be a friend
To soothe the cares, and lift the thoughts
Of man.
* Keats
Finally a short time of contemplative silence before it is broken yet again by the quick rapid fire words of an angry Nogbe mama or by the cries of a baby....or the continual questions of what I am or will be doing. I used to take solitude time so much for granted. IF I wanted to get away, all I had to do was head to the closest coffee shop where I could get absorbed for hours in a book or even more so with my thoughts. I find that if I do get up by at least 6 when the air is still cool and slip into my running clothe, I can walk sliently by the sea as much mesmerized by the sand as the stunning view. Those hours I cherish. I am not followed by children who demand money or an English lesson. The bright sun doesn´t bother me yet, but the chitre like always do. And there wandering lost on the beach, I begin to find my self again. Find myself against daily frustrations of language and culture. Finding myself when most things I find that hve defined me are lost in translation across an ocean and most known civilization. The time I have isn´t always amazing, but it is mine alone to wonder and cherish. If you took all your bearings away from you, your house, your car, your clothes, your job, your language, your sports, well what would define you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
