Friday, December 15, 2006

Green Eggs and Ham

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Anyone remember this Story???

Well, as some of you poignantly remember a couple of months back, I had this ham in my fridge. It was a good honey roasted ham smothered in orange demi-glaze sauce. I served it at a dinner party for Easter for 30 of my good friends. The only problem was that we didn't finish the ham.

So there is sat in my fridge for a couple of days....

The days moved on to weeks....

Which then dragged into months....

Yes, I know. Months.

So I'm sure you guys are wondering "Jamie, why didn't you just throw the ham away?" Well. I'm not sure. At the beginning I was just lazy and then in the later months, it became a sort of comfort image to know that I could go home, open my fridge and see my ham.

Needless to say, two of my close friends eventually confronted me with the moldy ham. And due to an intervention, they threw it down the garbage shoot.

Fast forward to oh, let's say a week ago.

I made an egg casserole for work. And my co-workers didn't finish it. So I carried the casserole back to my car.

I kinda forgot about it. I mean it was sitting on the floor of my car and covered with a towel. So yesterday as I got in my freezing cold car, I put the heat on full blast.

Remember the degenerating eggs on the front passenger floor?

Well, let's just say gagging ensued. And I spent the rest of my 20 minute drive to work and the 30 minute drive back without heat.

So, you will all be proud to know that I threw the green eggs away... All by myself.


klerch said...

I'm so proud of your progress. That twelve step program is really doing the trick.

In the case of relapse, however, you might consider entering some of the items in a science fair, or perhaps selling them for the penicillen.

shinbone #4 said...

hahaha green ham and green eggs - love it... the story I mean... because I do not like green eggs and ham... for eating purposes :D

betadance said...

Little Jamie! How funny you are! And a good writer to boot. Glad to have found you out in blog-land! And even more glad that you did not throw up from smelling said eggs. Because who knows how long THAT would have sat in your car... :)


Kristy said...

That has to be the most gross story I have heard in ages! Now everytime I read that story to my nephew, I am going to remember your green egss and ham :-) Have a great Christmas my friend!

Scuba Steve said...

ha ha! wow, you have come a long way my dear! i seem to remember throwing the 15 dollar pyrex casserole dish it was on away too... well, you can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs... and you can't throw away a rotting ham without a casualty or two also!

m.melissa.h said...

wow dude...SICK! hahaha that is absolutely amazing. . . the fact that it was a comfort image for you. silly silly