My dad believes in love at first sight.

I found this out on my way back from Amish Iowa while munching on fresh cheese curds. It kinda took me aback. I mean, who really believes in love at first sight?? And in the "Fireworks, bells and whistles electricity" sort of way?

I guess my dad does. Because that's how he described it.

My parents have been in love for 30 years. Next week is their 30th anniversary. The thing is they're still in love with eachother, madly in love. It wasn't uncommon for me growing up to walk into the kitchen and find my parents making out. Yeah, a little gross and slightly disconcerting. But life hasn't always been easy on my parents. They've had to deal with cancer twice, my dad going partially blind, living in the Philippines, and well the list goes on. I've never heard my mom complain about my dad and I don't think I've really seen them argue in front of me. All I've ever seen is their love.

And the thing is, it's what I want to strive for. I never want to settle for second best or even third. I don't want third string junior varsity, I want the starter on varsity. In other words, I want the best. I look at alot of relationships around me and I see them settling. Scared that they'll never find their soulmate, they go with the warmest body around.

Most of the guys in the general population I find pretty boring. The do the same things, like the same things and are pretty predictable. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to the off-beat guys who do their own thing. They have stories about their adventures and I'm drawn to an adventurous guy who isn't always constrained by society's norms. I like different.

So to sum it up, I don't believe in love at first sight mainly because I've never felt that way before towards anyone.

Maybe it does exist. Or maybe, like most things, it develops slowly over time getting richer and better.

The Wall

Background music: Pink Floyd's "The Wall"

Last night I sat in gravel and stared at a wall for a couple of hours.

And no, I wasn't high.

The wall is covered in rocks with multicolored bits of tape stuck next to it.
And I sat staring. Figuring out a red route, a black route, and my nemesis green.

Once you pick your color, you follow the problem through, figuring your left, right hands, where you're gonna match feet, when you should throw in a heel hook or a dyno.

You see the end goal.

Life's not like that though. In life you stare at your climbing wall looking at a bunch of various colors, you pick your route, and you have no idea where the route will end.

I think I might loathe you....

at least partially.

See for a while, things were working out. I had my doubts especially since I'm leaving in a couple of weeks and I didn't think it would really work out long-distance wise.

But I said "What the hell?" and did it anyways. Throwing caution to the wind, I checked you out, learned more about you, and then decided to go for it. (Besides, you were cute)

And for a while, things were good. We went to the movies and you didn't interrupt me once. (Which was a refreshing change). We had the lunch dates, the dirty dive bar times, and when I thought it was working, I challenged you on the slopes.

You kept up. You didn't slack. You kept your promises and didn't disappoint.

Then last week, you decided that we weren't working out. You started forgetting things, things that were really, really important to me. And it wasn't just forgetting the small things, it was also dropping the ball when I needed you most.

Yes, I know people recommended you highly to me. But the sad thing is, I can't go back to the way things were. I'm kinda stuck with you for the moment, and I'm just waiting for the chance for me to move and forget you.

So this post is dedicated to you, my blackberry pearl 8100, Cause I think I might loathe you.