Friday, February 29, 2008

So it finally had to happen.

I had one of those "Oh Sh*t" moments.

You know when you realize what you are about to do and you're half terrified and half so pumped to do it? Yeah.

I dropped my brother off at the airport and thought "this is the last time I'm gonna see him for two years." Which just made my mind ramble into all the other last things I'll get to do before I leave.

And then, I pretty much hyperventilated.

What if I threw a party and no one came? What if I hated it there? What if people don't remember me? What if everything is so foreign when I return?

A quick phone call to Ang that went pretty much like "Are you f-ing kidding me?!?! Snap out of it! Of course it won't be horrible"

And then I remembered that I'm also excited. Yeah, there's stuff I can't do, but there is so much other stuff that I could do there. (Like becoming an amazing surfer, using a machete, getting a sweet tan, living in a rainforest.....oh and helping people too)

So I snapped out of it and for now I'm just being. Living in the moment and enjoying it for all it's worth.


Doug said...

I've never been away from home for too long - the longest was between Christmas 2005 and May 2007. Coming home is weird after being away for so long. You'd expect that people would be happy to see you, but they only seem to take a passing interest. Definitely a let down. I want to be the centre of attention, damn it! Being away from home that long also helped me break that "my home is Bridgewater" tie. When I went back this past Christmas, it took a long time to get settled in and it still never really felt like home. That's the real "oh sh*t" moment, when you realize that nowhere really feels like home. It's both depressing and freeing - depressing because you don't have that strong feeling of belonging, but freeing because you don't feel obligated to someplace because of the history you have there.

The mid 20's are an odd time indeed.

BTW - love the pic. I would never do something like that out of fear that there are scorpions or snakes in the crevasse, but good on ya!

Elleah said...

I'm SO pumped for you! I'm excited for the many adventures you will have and the growth you will experience! I can hardly wait to travel again, but being at home with our baby girl is an adventure, too, just of a much different kind. :)

Q said...

dood, maybe there are some sweet capoeira studios out there to check out.