Guagh!!

I miss riding Gary.... my mountain bike.

See he's a Gary Fisher and so what better name for a bike? Anyways. Spring is starting to appear. And yet Gary sits in the garage. Un-used and un-loved. I tried explaining to him that at the moment we just aren't right for eachother. That the weather seems to get in the way of our time together. But I don't think he understands.

And so he sits in my friends garage. (I know, not even my garage) Waiting for the day for me to pick him up, go to the mountains and have fun.

Blast this artic freeze weather!!!! because right now all I want to do is to go and ride.

Now why is this news?!?

Anna Nicole Smith died. And Fox news, CNN and pretty much any other new organizations have been covering it non-stop. It's on the news during lunch, it's even on while I'm at the gym burning off my 500 calories.

News? Really? Are you kidding me? I mean who really cares? Did she do anything to contribute to society? No, I don't think so.

So why are we devoting so much time to this? I think it says something about our society and the people we worship. We admire and worship people that are nice to look at but are generally selfish. They don't have to make the world a better place, they just have to prove that they are better than anyone else.

Sad. Why are we so devoted to beautiful looking people?

P.S. The Italian Prime Minister resigned. For some reason the news gods deemed this un-newsworthy.... Who knows why. .. I'm switching to the BBC.

Sick

I've been sick for the past two days....

It's the stomach, runny nose, and the groggy head sickness.

And yes, I'm at work right now.

I'm not sick enough to go home, just sick enough to not feel good. And really why should I waste a perfectly good sick day when I am not completely sick enough?

So for the past couple of days I've been existing on ricecakes and soup...Which believe it or not is quite satisfying. In fact, it would probably make an amazing diet that I could patent. I would call it "Liquid Rice 3000" (because everything sounds better with a couple of digits after it)
Ok, so your sodium intake would blow through the roof....But you could lose weight. And that's what everyone is about, Right?

Uggh.....
I want to go puke now.

I love you Jimmy Choo

So something happened to me last week that I think most people can relate to.

I was sitting at my computer doing work, my brain practically turning to mush. So I decided to take a break, stretch my legs and go to the bathroom. You know when your mind is kind of on autopilot? Where you walk to the bathroom and walk into a stall without thinking about it?

Well I did that....

And as I sat on the toilet I happened to glance at the person's shoes in the stall next to me.

The person's shoes were brown, leather and suspiciously mannish....

Oh crap!! I'm in the men's bathroom.

A quick mental calculation and I realized I have no clue how I went to the wrong bathroom.

Was I on crack? I must have been.

But then I glanced to the right on the stall door and saw the sanitary napkin box.
And a quick glance through the stall door showed the tampon dispenser.

So...... I had to have been in the women's bathroom.

Now who was that person next to me? Was it a guy?

Cause wow.....that would have been funny.
So I exit the stall and wait by the sink to see who would emerge.

And it was A GIRL!!!

What kind of girl wears man shoes when you can wear perfectly good stilletos?!?!?!?

Ah, Jimmy Choo.... I love you.

A Self-Proclaimed Enviromentalist

The other day I was sifting through some old papers and I came across a Sierra Club bumper sticker. And I'm currently contemplating placing on my SUV.

Yes, I know. Placing a Sierra Club sticker on an SUV....I think that's a semi-oxymoron.

You see, I like the enviroment, I really do. I just think sometimes it's too much of a hassle to do anything about it. Now before you all think that I burn down the amazon in my freetime, let me explain myself.

I hate wasting electricity, water, pollution, deforestation, the extinction of endangered species and all that.

And these are the following reasons why:

I think I realized how wasteful I am went I went on a backpacking trip last weekend. We boiled snow for water and used it as both our drinking water and for washing our dishes. When I think of all the time it took to convert snow to drinking water, I realized how much I waste water and don't even care.

I leave the water running when I brush my teeth, my toilet is constantly running water because a lever is broken (I'm thinking of fixing it, or at least jiggling the handle...but on second thought that would mean that I would have to get up and actually do something) and, I take extremely long showers. Yep, I'm a water waster.

Regarding wasting electricity... It bothers me when people leave lights on all over the house. Call it a pet peeve of mine. The reason it bothers me so much is because I know that my electricity bill will be sky high the following month. So in the end, I'm not about energy conservation, I'm for a lower electric bill.

I'm for recycling. I just don't do it.
I used to recycle all the time in highschool. I had the bins, I had a plan. And the plan worked for a long time. I recycled aluminum cans, newspapers, milk jugs, laundry detergent jugs, and even tins cans and glass. Wow! I was on a role. The only problem was that the recycle man came around once in a blue moon. So we had a whole garage full of stinking recycable things. After a couple of months, my dad curtailed my enviromental ambitions and took it all to the junkyard. Sigh.

And now, I am without bins and without a plan. I should do something about this.

So really I am a self-proclaimed enviromentalist. I just don't do anything about it.

Should I return my Sierra club card now?

An Awkward Conversation

She came over and settled down into the couch next to me. For a while, we ambled over comfortable subjects and revisited topics that we had hashed out long ago. Then she mentioned an acquaintance that I had met when I first moved to the Springs.

"Remember Nate?"

"Yeah, he was one of Teddy's friends right? Glasses, dark brown hair..."

"Yeah, that's him. Well...," There was a long pause as she shifted uncomfortably, "He died Jamie, about 2 weeks ago."

I swallowed hard and hurriedly looked away. What do you say when you knew someone only as an acquaintance? The last time I saw him was at church and even then I had a hard time placing his face with some other place else that I knew well.

"How?"

She sighed. "It was suicide"

Multiple questions flooded my brain. "Was there a note? Was he depressed? When was the funeral? How does Teddy feel?"

But for some reason I couldn't ask any of them. The questions ran from my brain and trickled into my heart.

Whenever people die, it's a shock, a suprise. It feels as if they are suddenly snatched away and there's nothing we can do to stop it.

But suicide's different. The person chooses to end their life. And while it's a shock and suprise to those around the victim, there's also an overwhelming sense of guilt.

A sense of guilt that in some possible way we could have done something to stop it.

I didn't know Nate well, but the guilt is still there.

Old Soul Song

A poem from my past, be inspired ya'll.
..



I want to build
a wall around me,
so no one can look
if they really don't want to see
me








To creatively borrow a quote from my friend Grace,

"Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down."

Me talk pretty one day

I realized yesterday I can't talk. I guess speaking English is not my forte anymore.

Yesterday I called my boss to tell her I was going to be late because there was this bad car accident on the enterance ramp. So I proceed to tell her that I just got on the Interstate at "U-nit-tah".....


For those of you that don't live in Colorado, it's pronounced "Yoo-in-tah"



Totally mis-pronouncing Unitah like a misplaced Texan is a cardinal sin.


My boss completely cracked up and when I showed up at work, everyone made fun of me for the rest of the day.

Which brings me to English lesson number 2:
Make sure you use the correct word in a sentance.

I was at work the other day completely starving. So I said to my co-workers, "I'm so hungry, I feel emancipated!!"

I'm sure being hungry might lead to someone becoming free. But in the end emancipated and emaciated are not the same.

I'll learn English one of these days. I guess today's just not my day.

.... And tommorrow's not looking to good either.

Knowledge is power

Wal-Mart is the nation's largest private energy user. Each of the discount giant's 2,074 supercenters uses an average of 1.5 million kilowatt-hours per year; combined, that's enough to power Chile.

It's amazing how one single smell can bring back a flood of memories.

Yesterday, I bought some new shampoo and as a proceeded to use it in the shower, it had this particular smell to it.

And the smell transported me to Spring of 2004 when I was staying in Manchester with a Welsh family. I stayed in a green room that was decorated with fresh daffodils, drank horlicks (it tastes like warm malted milk), watched Bridgit's Jones Diary, was quizzed endlessly about facts on the state capital of Nebraska, played with a cat, learned to play piano from tab, visited various public schools, went white water rafting in wales, celebrated mum's day, explored an old barn and still, did a high ropes course, saw a soap show being filmed, and lost numerous games of cards.

Those memories came flooding back from just one smell.


Odd, and yet so comforting....


Ah Cheadle Hume. How I miss you.

Go

Someone once said:

One can't forever stand on the shore. At some point, filled with indecision, skepticism, reservation and doubt, you either jump in or concede that life is forever elsewhere.

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas Tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is ....

Well I just don't know.
I wish I did, but I don't.

Do any of you out there in blogland have any idea what I could want for Christmas?

Green Eggs and Ham

I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Anyone remember this Story???

Well, as some of you poignantly remember a couple of months back, I had this ham in my fridge. It was a good honey roasted ham smothered in orange demi-glaze sauce. I served it at a dinner party for Easter for 30 of my good friends. The only problem was that we didn't finish the ham.

So there is sat in my fridge for a couple of days....


The days moved on to weeks....


Which then dragged into months....


Yes, I know. Months.

So I'm sure you guys are wondering "Jamie, why didn't you just throw the ham away?" Well. I'm not sure. At the beginning I was just lazy and then in the later months, it became a sort of comfort image to know that I could go home, open my fridge and see my ham.

Needless to say, two of my close friends eventually confronted me with the moldy ham. And due to an intervention, they threw it down the garbage shoot.

Fast forward to oh, let's say a week ago.

I made an egg casserole for work. And my co-workers didn't finish it. So I carried the casserole back to my car.

I kinda forgot about it. I mean it was sitting on the floor of my car and covered with a towel. So yesterday as I got in my freezing cold car, I put the heat on full blast.

Remember the degenerating eggs on the front passenger floor?

Well, let's just say gagging ensued. And I spent the rest of my 20 minute drive to work and the 30 minute drive back without heat.

So, you will all be proud to know that I threw the green eggs away... All by myself.

Surrender

to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress....

I don't know why most Christian songs sing about how sweet it is. It's not sweet at all. In fact, it sucks. You are giving up something under duress or at least not giving it up of your own volition.

Think about generals surrendering in war. Did they really want to do it? No, but they had to because it was between either that and death.

It's a struggle.




It's not fun.




It's not sweet.




It's not great.



But it is needed at times.... When it's either that or death.

Top reasons why I love Colorado

A cuppa Joe

Today as I looked out the window at work, the fog rolled down the mountain and swirled around the Springs. It wound around the trees and seemed to dance around the twinkling Christmas lights.

Tonight I am going to be surrounded by wonderful women. And though we have only known eachother for a couple of months from summer camp, being around them feels like home. Perhaps a spiritual home. The first night I came, I felt not only acceptance, but also love. The type of love that surrounds and hugs you like a warm blanket. I like that feeling.

And so I brave out into the icy cold to grab a cup of java and to talk about love.

The Stranger Next to Me

Yesterday I flew back home after going on vacation and I have a confession to make....

Whenever I'm waiting for the flight, I always scope out my fellow passengers.

And try to find the hottest guy.

Secretely I wish they would sit next to me in 28D. And suprise, suprise, they never do. They sit next to Miss America over in 11F.

I guess I should have realized that this pattern will always repeat itself. And yesterday was no different. I scoped out the hottie going to Denver. He sat next to Miss America, and I got to sit next to some random 55 year old from Ft. Collins.

Now, I'm not knocking on the older males from Ft Collins. It's just that we have absolutely nothing in common (other than the fact that we both thought it would be smarter to fly than drive to San Antonio.... but really that's a no-brainer)

So I'm sitting next to Mr. No-personality and I feel obligated to start a conversation with him. I did make the attempt, and you can generally determine within 5 minutes of meeting someone whether you will have stuff to talk about. And we didn't.

So with another hour and 35 minutes, I watched some random TV.

My point is to this random babbling is, why do we talk to the stranger beside us? I knew that the probability of me running into this guy again was about .000056%, and yet still I felt a need to have a somewhat ackward coversation with him.

I guess that's just the way the crow flys.

From the quiteness of the trading desk....

Today I have been doing alot of thinking about my life, my future and my dreams. This is something I journaled about a couple of days ago and I thought you all would like to know.... Or not know. I really don't care. This is me and this is where I am.

Dreams? Wow. I haven't thought about that in a long time. To be honest, I'm right in the process of giving up a dream/hope that I have had for so long. Probably so long that I can almost taste it.

But I think I've almost turned that dream into a god of sorts. I think about it constantly and wonder how it would ever evolve.

The dream in and of itself is not a bad thing. It's the worship of the dream that is. And I guess that's partly why I need to give up the dream, give up the hope and give it over to You.

Maybe my dream will never take place. But I nee to be secure to know that if it doesn't then You have bigger and better dreams than I have.

To you O Lord....

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog
Where no one notices the contrast of white on white
And in between the moon and you the angels get a better view
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right...

My Hat

I got a hat today and here is my haiku about it:

My Hat is way cool
It keepeth warm the dome piece
Reverberating

Haikus are so nice
but sometimes they don't make sense
Refigerator